WHAT KIND OF NUT ARE YOU?

by Robin Benzle

On the coffee table sits a heaping bowl of salty, buttery mixed nuts.  Your hungry hand reaches out and grabs a.......Wait.  You probably never realized that what you are about to take says a lot about your personality.  Here then, is a carefully researched psychological analysis of the four main nut groups

1.  THE CASHEW-ONLY PERSON - Outgoing, indulgent, self-centered.  Teases animals; often wears tight, red pants and too much cologne.  Owns one of those umbrella hats.  Buys everyone at the bar a drink and cheats at golf.  Has probably won a pie-eating contest.  Will give you the shirt off his back as long as he can borrow your circular saw permanently.  Likes the song “Woolly Bully” and has a great fake laugh.

2.  THE DON’T-EVEN-LOOK SCOOPER PERSON - Undiscriminating, bold, confident.  Doesn’t notice when living room furniture has been rearranged.  Never sends food back at a restaurant.  Always does cannonballs in the pool.  Isn’t bothered by mosquitoes or a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.  Owns between 9 - 12 cats.

3.  THE ONE-AT-A-TIME-ONE-OF-EACH-KIND PERSON - Meticulous, well-balanced, polite.  Color-codes clothes in closet and cleans out spice drawer faithfully once a year.  Never runs out of Kleenex and owns a “Welcome Friends” doormat.  Likes variety except when it comes to spouses and shampoo.  Irons sheets.

4.  THE FEEL-SORRY-FOR-THE-BRAZIL-NUT PERSON - Kind, selfless, introverted.  Plays solitaire a lot.  Is a member of PETA and still sends donations to Tammy Faye Bakker.  Never gets tan.  Has never had the opportunity to purchase Boardwalk or Park Place in Monopoly.  Can’t throw away twisty ties.  Owns a madras shirt and a rotary phone.

 

BRAZIL NUT-BUTTERMILK CHICKEN

 

                             1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
                             1 cup buttermilk
                             1 egg
                             1 1/2 cups ground Brazil nut
                             1/2 cup flour
                             1 1/2 teaspoons salt
                             6 bone-in chicken breast halves

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Place butter in 9” x 13” roasting pan and melt in oven, about 5 minutes.  Remove pan and set aside.

In a shallow dish, whisk together buttermilk and egg.  In another deeper dish, combine Brazil nuts, flour and salt.  Dip chicken pieces in buttermilk mixture, then coat in nut mixture.  Place in roasting pan, turning to coat with melted butter.  Bake, uncovered, 1 hour or until deep golden brown.  Good with fresh fruit salad and pumpernickel bread.  Serves 6.

 

CASHEW-POTATO PATTIES

 

                             2 large Idaho potatoes, peeled and chunked
                             1 container cottage cheese (12 ounce)
                             1/2 cup chopped cashews
                             1/4 cup finely chopped scallions
                             1 teaspoon salt
                             1/2 teaspoon pepper
                             1/3 cup dry bread crumbs
                             Vegetable oil for frying

 
In large saucepan, boil potatoes until tender, about 15 minutes.  Drain and let cool slightly.  Place in a large bowl and mash with fork (do not use electric mixer).  Stir in cottage cheese, cashews, scallions, salt and pepper and mash together with the back of a big spoon.  Form 6 patties and lightly coat each one with bread crumbs.


Heat 1/4” oil in large skillet.  Fry patties in two batches until browned on both sides, making sure they don’t touch while cooking.  Drain on paper towels before serving.  Tastes great with thick slices of tomato.